DUMB INSOLENCE #10

                                            DUMB INSOLENCE #10

Pre- hypothetical Covid-19 pandemic,I would on occasion simply copy & paste and lovingly acknowledge that Peter Hitchens had said all that I was going to say on a particular topic or issue on a given date or during a specific week.And so much more pithily then I ever could at short notice.I need a fair old run -up to do pith,especially of the withering acerbic kind.

We're back to school all across the non-Scottish governed parts of the declining and moribund dis-united Kingdom.

And of course it's all state  sponsored bollox.

29 August 2020 11:50 PM 

This is Peter Hitchens’s Mail on Sunday column

Is this advert masking a simple truth? 

In the continuing struggle of truth against falsehood, I have complained to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) about an advertisement plastered over bus shelters all over the country.

You may have seen it. An attractive young woman is shown with half her face obscured by a piece of cloth, which may well have been made from an item of clothing.

'I wear this to protect you,' she is supposed to be saying. 'Please wear yours to protect me.' I said to the ASA that she may believe this is so, but there is no hard experimental evidence to support the claim that people who wear such loose cloth masks protect me at all.

The poster could claim 'I wear this because I believe it protects you'. But it is wrong to say that it does.

I am pleased to say that the ASA has agreed to investigate the complaint – and has now referred it to its council. I will let you know what happens.

Covid? You may as well fear falling tortoises  

Is anyone still fooled by these figures for 'cases' of Covid-19? The more you look, the more you will find, but deaths and hospitalisations keep going down. It's increasingly clear that the virus rarely affects healthy people.

In fact, I'd guess that the chance of a healthy young person dying from Covid is about as great as the chance of an eagle dropping a tortoise on your head and killing you.

This actually happened to the Greek playwright Aeschlyus about 2,500 years ago, so it must be about due to happen again, especially with the growing eagle population in the country, and the huge number of pet tortoises on which they might swoop if hungry. Be afraid.

Using the panic-stricken logic applied to Covid by Health Commissar Matt Hancock, we should surely be taking serious precautions against this menace. Perhaps the enforced wearing of tortoise-proof helmets might be necessary, or anti-eagle netting installed over the back gardens of tortoise-owners, who should from now on be strictly licensed.

But my favourite Hancock-style solution is the compulsory greasing of all tortoises, so that eagles cannot pick them up in the first place.

I think this meets the precautionary principle quite well, and I'm sure our domestic grease industry can cope with the demand. Save Lives. Control the Tortoise.

Amen to all the aforegoing.